With thanks...
JANUARY 2010
I am grateful for the new energy of a new year, and a new project unfolding...
With thanks... Friday January 1...
Wow, a new year :-)
Today I am grateful for my beautiful new calendar of myth and magic, a Christmas present from my beloved, which I have put on my wall so I can write in all the little things I do each day towards my current dream/goal, so that when I feel a bit frustrated or despair that I haven't done enough, I can be reminded of how much I have achieved and how far I have come...
I am grateful that I wrote a fair bit today...
I am grateful to all my beautiful friends for all the lovely messages of love, potential and hope for the coming year...
I am grateful that I had cupcakes for lunch (I has salad for breakfast, so it seemed fair)...
And I am grateful for the few hours my love and I had together tonight, as he returned from work a broken man, snuggling together, watching a couple of episodes of the last half of Battlestar Galactica's fourth series, and smiling fondly about our lovely night last night, our beautiful year just gone, and the magical year that is beginning to unfold...
With thanks... Saturday January 2...
Tonight I am grateful to my beautiful bee-loved, who made a special birthday eve fuss of me even though he didn't get home from work until 11.45pm... I am grateful for his beautiful card, and the gorgeous little orchid plant complete with ladybird on the leaf, and the tickets to The Princess and the Frog for tomorrow night, and the magical faery tiara which is on its way :-)
I am grateful for the sweet birthday messages from lovely friends that have snuck in early :-)
I am grateful for the beautiful storm this afternoon, and the dark, ominous yet beautiful sky, and the thick rain that cleansed the world, and made everything smell so sweet.
I am grateful that I got so much work done (including whipping up a batch of very cute, very tasty mini quiches as a test run, which Cutes loved, and has put several in his lunchbox for tomorrow)...
And now I am off to dream sweet dreams...
With thanks... Sunday January 3...
Today I am grateful to my beloved for a beautiful birthday, and to all my friends for their gorgeous messages - I felt very loved :-)
I am grateful that I went to yoga this morning - nothing like spending your birthday at the gym to make you feel good about yourself :-)
I am grateful for the sweet, gentle rain I walked through to get there, the cool watery kisses on my cheeks, soothing, cleansing, sparkling...
I am grateful that I got some writing done...
I am grateful for the phone call from my dear friend, the beautiful flowers that reminded me of my wedding bouquet, and the several renditions of Happy Birthday left on the answering machine...
And I am grateful to my love for the beautiful night we shared. I met him after work and we walked down to the park (with bouquet in hand), and fed the ducks, and admired a new kind of bird strutting across the grass, and two new black swans we've never seen at the lake before.
I am grateful for the soy chai I naughtily had (well, I'm telling the neurologist tomorrow morning that the no tea thing didn't work, so what the frack), and for the movie - I'd been dying to see The Princess and the Frog for months :-) And I am grateful to Cutes for taking me, and liking it as much as I did, and giggling at the sweet fireflies with me...
And I am grateful for our sweet walk home in the cool dark, the bouquet still in hand, the bats flying overhead, and for cupcakes and laughter and love...
PS. And I am grateful (again) to Naughy but Nice Cutes - I just found another present on my pillow! Thank you my precious beloved, for making my day so special...
With thanks... Monday January 4...
Today, on a difficult day, I am grateful for small things... The sweet little collection of faery mushrooms growing on the side of the road as I walked back from the neurologist, a reassuring hug from Cutes, a phone call from a dear friend, the package from Mum and Dad arriving, dinner with Margie and Pete, a lovely card and birthday pressie...
It's been a tough day - I was terrified as I waited (and waited) to see the neurologist, clutching my brain scans and waiting to hear the verdict. I have white spots on my brain, which a lot of migraine sufferers have (and which they don't know what they are, but there's no need to worry, apparently. What the!?), and I also have some weird inconsistency on one side of the brain, with a prominent something or other vein or nerve, and a section where it almost doesn't exist on the other side. Oh to have understood the jargon! So, more scans on Wednesday morning. A new medication to start, which causes dizzyness and a dry mouth and also puts weight on (greeeat!). And still no tea. Hmph!
Apologies for the lack of enthusiasm - I've had a bad migraine all day, which no amount of advil would dull, and felt nauseous and gross and uninspired. Very little work got done (lots of guilt for not doing though!), so I am grateful that it's time for bed... Tomorrow is another day!
With thanks... Tuesday January 5...
Tonight I am grateful for a lovely dinner with friends...
I am grateful that a bookshop paid their last few invoices...
I am grateful that I walked for an hour, despite a sore back and a bad migraine (sorry I haven't been online, have been avoiding the computer)...
I am grateful that although my head was achingly bad, I didn't feel as sick as yesterday...
I am grateful to gorgeous Ange and Lucy for calling to see how I am...
And I am grateful that in the morning I may be one step closer to knowing WHY...
With thanks... Wednesday January 6...
Hmm, I was going to skip this one, cos it has been a struggle to think of happy things... The dye-scan was scary and weird, although at least shorter than the MRI. I couldn't drink any water (or eat) before it, so I was *so* thirsty... I woke up with a migraine but couldn't take any painkillers, so my head sucked all day... I walked for an hour and a half, to the medical centre, and back, and back again, and each step made me feel worse...
BUT, I am grateful to my beloved for going with me, and holding my hand.
I am grateful to my dear friend for calling me to send more love my way...
And I am grateful to Daniella for her sweetness, kindness and talent! They're gorgeous!
With thanks… Thursday January 7…
Tonight I am grateful that, in this moment, I feel okay. It's been a tough few days, shocking migraines, nausea, weird test results, new scans with dye injected, and now the long wait for the results (next Thursday)... But my head pain has faded, for the moment at least, and the accompanying depression has lifted... Fingers crossed *that* stays away.
I am grateful for all the lovely messages and concern (although surely a day away from Facebook shouldn't be *too* worrying!), thank you for the emails and posts...
I am grateful that I got through the work day, and I am grateful for advil...
I am grateful I forced myself to walk home, a nice brisk hour walk, otherwise I would have been disappointed in myself...
And I am grateful for a quiet night in with my beloved...
With thanks… Friday January 8…
Today I am grateful that I got to save a little ladybird I found on the kitchen floor, taking her gently outside on a lettuce leaf (quite an operation to get her on there) and giving her a new home in my little elder tree :-)
I am grateful that I got through a day in the office, after waking with another bloody migraine, and that the advil eventually worked...
I am grateful that a friend told me that some antidepressants (for that is what my new migraine medication doubles as) cause depression for the first week, before they start working. Kinda reassuring that the blackness of this week has a cause, and will hopefully lift soon...
I am grateful for the chiropractor, who cracked my back in a major way, and got a few kinks out...
I am grateful for the long walk home in the early evening sunshine...
And now I am grateful for bed. Sweet dreams! xx
With thanks… Saturday January 9...
Today I am grateful for lovely messages and kind thoughts. Sorry I don't have much to report other than day six of an agonising head, and increasing frustration levels... But I'm fine... Liquid advil helps enough to get through the day...
I am grateful that I got a little bit of work done, although it's harder than usual to concentrate and motivate myself...
I am grateful for the beautiful sunshiney day - and my fan!
And I am grateful for my sweet beloved, who patted my head while I lay in his lap and listened dreamily to Star Wars...
With thanks... Sunday January 10...
Firstly, I apologise for not being my usual cheery self. I don't know how people cope with constant pain. This week has been hell on the migraine front... I'm hoping the new medication is making them worse before they make them better, but we shall see...
I *am* grateful for my beloved stroking my head for the last half hour as we snuggled on the couch and chatted about life, and our day, and love...
I am grateful for liquid advil, which dulls my head to a level I can almost cope with - although only being able to write half a page a day is driving me insane...
And I am grateful that it's time for bed, and hopeful that tomorrow will be pain-free...
With thanks... Monday January 11...
Tonight I am grateful for a gorgeous birthday package from my dear friend Ang, full of the sweetest gifts and loveliest card. So nice to get to celebrate again!
I am grateful that my migraine held off until after work, and I managed to get the magazine finished :-)
I am grateful for an hour's walk home through the still-sunny evening, and for sweet bird song...
And I am grateful to my beautiful beloved for sitting on the couch with me and patting my head :-)
With thanks... Tuesday January 12...
Today I am grateful for the sunshine... and my fan!
I am grateful that I searched through some forums about this new migraine medication - and people have reported getting daily migraines until it started working, which is reassuring. Guess I just have to persevere...
I am glad the painkillers dulled it enough for me to get some work done...
And I am grateful for my sweet beloved, who patted my head while he watched (and I listened to) Star Wars...
With thanks... Wednesday January 13...
Tonight I am grateful for a walk home through the cooling, cleansing rain. It's been so hot lately, but it was so nice to feel the gentle, soothing sprinkles on my cheeks...
I am grateful for all the messages of support and advice about my head (but yes, I have tried every natural therapy/alternative healing method known to man, from herbalism, naturopathy, vitamin therapy and diet to cranio sacral therapy and chiropractic, acupuncture, acupressure, psychic surgery, psychic healing, mediums, channellers, crystals, reiki, reconnective healing, past life therapy, magnet therapy, kombucha, radical forgiveness, colour therapy, pyramid meditation, the king technique, affirmations, angel therapy etc. I've been treated by shamans in Peru, John of God in Brasil, channellers in Glastonbury, done healing ceremonies in Egypt and Ireland, and heaps more I can't think of right now. I am grateful for each experience, and I know they work for many people. However in 20 years of trying this stuff, studying this stuff and becoming a practitioner of a few of them, my migraines have only got worse. I need to function, because they are ruling my life right now, and severely limiting what I can do and how much work I get done in a day. Mine are caused by chemical imbalances/surges in the brain (and hopefully only that), and if I can find a form of medication that will stop them, it will change my life.
I do appreciate all the suggestions, but today I was grateful for painkillers to get through the work day...
And grateful to my beloved for patting my head...
With thanks... Thursday January 14...
Today I am grateful for a beautiful afternoon with my love. We got the ferry across the harbour to May Gibbs's cottage, and danced through the faery gardens, scowled at the banksia men on the tree next door, wandered through her well-preserved home and marvelled at her studio overlooking the water... and I bought a copy of Snugglepot and Cuddlepie (not sure where my childhood version ended up). So cute!
I am grateful my beloved came with me to the neurologist this morning, although there is no news - the report was fine but he saw something on the scan he wants to discuss with the other doctor. It may be something, it may be nothing, and either way it may or may not cause my migraines... So, I'll know in a week or two (perhaps)...
I am grateful for all the messages of love and support...
I am grateful for our brief foray out to see Boskie's new band...
And I am grateful that, after 10 days of hell, it's been a migraine-free day. It's probably to soon to say, but maybe these tablets will work! And now I'm off to bed just in case one starts - that way it won't count as today!
With thanks... Friday January 15...
Today I am grateful for a phone call from my dear friend Amanda from New York. We've known each other for 20 years (which spins me out!), and although we've rarely lived in the same city (let alone country!), I am so happy that we've stayed in touch all this time, and spent time together when we can, be it in Perth or Washington or Melbourne, and shared our lives and our adventures and our struggles and our triumphs.
I'm grateful I got some work done...
I am bemused by how long I waited to take painkillers today. You think I'd know by now that when I start getting a migraine, it isn't going to just go away, but sometimes I live in hope. Not sure if that's naive, stupid or just sweetly optimistic :-) Anyway, when I finally gave in it did dull itself, and I managed to get some writing done :-)
And I'm grateful for a cute night with my love, watching a (surprisingly interesting) doco about heavy metal and its anthropological impact around the globe, eating crisp green apples and smiling about the PB gig tomorrow night...
With thanks... Saturday January 16...
Tonight I am grateful for the fun (although last minute) Platinum Brunette gig. I'm also grateful it was an early one (all-day festival) so we got home in time to have a cute night together :-)
I am grateful for a sunshiney day, and for the fan...
I am grateful that I got some work done, more research than writing, but it all counts...
And I am grateful that although my ears were aching and my head hurt a little, I didn't get a migraine. Hooray!
With thanks... Sunday January 17...
Tonight I am grateful that I am two days migraine free. Maybe the tablets have started working! I know it seems a bit weird to be excited by two days free, after the last 12 days it feels like a miracle :-) Fingers crossed it continues to work!
I am grateful that I got some more writing done...
And I am grateful for a fun night with my beloved, dinner with Margie and Pete, and a relatively early night... Well, it's only *just* pumpkin time :-)
With thanks... Monday January 18...
Today I am grateful for the cute creatures in Fairyland, and the cute new cause "Bees in Danger"...
I am grateful that I got a little writing done...
And I am grateful that I haven't had a migraine for three days now - so I'm going to bed early so I don't tempt fate :-)
With thanks... Tuesday January 19...
Today I am grateful that my beloved came into town to meet me after work, just so we could walk home together. So cute...
I am grateful to Jess for finding me a desk after I went into the office and found someone sitting at mine. The office rearrangement was done by someone who clearly didn't know I work there. Weird! But I should be all set up at a proper desk by the end of the week :-)
I am grateful for a lovely lunch with a friend (who I will remember to send the photos to - oops!)...
And I am grateful for four days without a migraine. It's not really that amazing - four weeks would be awesome! - but right now it's making me very happy! Hooray! xx
With thanks... Wednesday January 20...
Today I am grateful for our one day off, and a beautiful day together - walking hand in hand to our favourite cafe in the hot sunshine and cool breeze, the gorgeous, brightly coloured butterflies that swooped around us, a naughty pot of tea...
I am grateful that I did a little bit of work, updating my website (which was a bit behind), sending a couple of emails, organising, planning...
I am grateful for our lovely night, cooking together, listening to U2, watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince...
And I am grateful that it's been five days without a migraine. Doesn't sound earth shattering, but it works for me!
With thanks... Thursday January 21...
Today I am grateful that I have been able to work with Ann on Disney Princess and Little Friends magazines. I am grateful for her wonderful artistic talent, her amazing work ethic, and her sweetness and loveliness. I'm very sad she's leaving the country, but I'm super excited and happy for her that she's off on a wonderful new adventure...
I am grateful that my beloved met me after work for a yummy dinner and a cute walk home, and I am grateful for the beauty of the sky as the sun set in beautiful pale pinks and golds...
And I am grateful that it has now been six days with no migraine - looks like the tablets may be working! Hooray!
With thanks... Friday January 22...
Today I am grateful for the clear blue skies and summer heat - and grateful for the fan...
I am grateful for the beautiful sunset sky, in a million shades of pink and gold...
I am grateful that I got a tiny bit of writing done (but wish I'd been able to do more)...
And I am grateful that I had six days without a migraine, but sad that today ruined my winning streak. I tried so hard to stop it, with gallons of water, magnesium powder, lavender oil, even a naughty coffee, but alas... Still, it wasn't quite as bad as usual, so I am grateful for these tablets, which are said to cut the frequency and severity (and grateful for ibuprofen and its power to at least dull the pain a little)...
With thanks... Saturday January 23...
Today I am grateful for the downpour of rain, short though it was, the ominous thunder and the wonderful drop in temperature. It's still pretty warm, but much more bearable :-)
I am grateful I got some writing done...
I am grateful for a fun night in with my beloved, a Law & Order marathon and lots of laughter.
I am grateful for the DVDs Pauline sent of Talia and Kelland competing in dance comps, singing and tapping, solo and together. It's a whole new world, that child talent quest...
And I am grateful that, although I had the odd pain in my head, I didn't have a migraine...
With thanks... Sunday January 24...
Today I am grateful for another day without a migraine, although these tablets do make me very tired, and want to sleep in :-)
But I am grateful that I got some writing done, and that it's all starting to come together...
And I know this sounds weird, but today I had to flick through my second book to find something I'd written, to check it for this project, and I was surprised how much I liked it. Maybe I should believe some of the beautiful feedback I've had for it :-)
I am grateful too for a night with my beloved - it's weird him working days this week, but I like it :-)
With thanks… Monday January 25…
Wow, it's been a year since I started posting these gratitude notes. I started on Chinese New Year, January 26 - although this year's isn't until February 14. It was a new moon, a time for beginnings, and what a year it was. Seven Sacred Sites began national distribution, I wrote a second book, and made a meditation CD. I did three Mind Body Spirit festivals, one alone (gulp), one with my dear friend Lucy, and another with Lucy and the talented Michele-lee. And we hatched several faery goddess plans for this year :-)
I made some beautiful new friends, and spent precious time with old ones...
I was touched by the beautiful comments on here...
My beloved and I went back to Glastonbury, for a second honeymoon of sorts, and explored the stone circles, ancient villages (and bogs!) of the English countryside...
I had brain scans and tried different migraine medications, and after a very bumpy, slightly scary ride, may have found a good one...
I worked on some cute magazines, and became editor of Little Friends...
And I started work on a magical new book - it should be out in May...
So, today I am grateful that I committed to this "With Thanks" thing (which I've posted on my website, at www.sereneconneeley.com/html/withthanks.html), so I could keep track of all the things that happened, celebrate the wonderful things, transform the not so great, and see the world in its best light :-)
I am also grateful I got some writing done, didn't have a migraine, and spent a relaxing night at home with my beloved...
With thanks… Tuesday January 26…
Today I am grateful for all my gorgeous fairy friends, who have been watering my garden in an effort to find the unicorn. I've met some beautiful friends in Fairyland :-)
I am grateful for a day off with my beloved, spent quietly together, hiding from the sun, fan on, drinking tea...
I am grateful for a wonderful night with Cutes and our dear friend Nigie, yummy dinner, our mutual willpower to avoid dessert, and sparkling conversations...
I am grateful that we walked up to Newtown and back, despite the heat :-)
While I do feel conflicted about Australia Day, I am very grateful that I live in this beautiful country, and although there are many things I don't like about our "culture" and our history, there are also many wonderful things, and many wonderful people. And I love that Professor Patrick McGorry was announced Australian of the Year for his work with young people and mental health care, and that Nobel Prize-winning molecular biologist Elizabeth Blackburn was also recognised...
And I am grateful that, as I start the second year of this gratitude journal, I found this medium to do it in (I started so many on paper, but always gave up - posting it here makes me do it, for some reason...), and that it's been five days since my last migraine :-) xx
With thanks… Wednesday January 27…
Today I am grateful that my beloved came into town with me, on his day off, so we could spend a bit more time together.
I am grateful for the soy chai I had, that tasted so yummy after so long on that silly anti-tea migraine thingie...
I am grateful that I had another day without a migraine, and figure the exhaustion side effect is bearable, when the options are weighed up...
I am grateful for a brisk walk home, and the way the sky changed in the hour I walked, becoming more ominous the further I walked, and perplexing too, with patches of blue sky peeking through :-)
I am grateful that a fairy friend found my unicorn, and I am also so grateful for all the beautiful friends I've met in Fairyland...
And now, at midnight, I am glad that my beloved will be home soon...
With thanks… Thursday January 28…
Today I am grateful that I didn't have to go in to the office, because I woke up with a migraine and have felt fragile all day. Painkillers did dull the pain, but I was super vague, like I was underwater and disconnected from the world. Pain returned in a blaze of agony a few hours ago, sigh... But on the positive side (you know I always like to look for it), it's only been one a week for the last two weeks, and not as severe as usual, so... Unfortunately I couldn't get through to the neurologist either, so no news yet...
I am grateful to Jenny for her interest in my ramblings...
I am grateful to all my lovely fairy friends and their sweet messages...
I am grateful to my beloved, for his sympathy, head pats and understanding...
And I am grateful that tomorrow is another day, and hopefully it will dawn brighter for me than today :-)
With thanks… Friday January 29…
Today I am grateful for the beautiful autumn leaves that crunch underfoot and turn the world all shades of red and gold... I am grateful that, while still so hot, evidence of the magic of the seasons and the coming gentler weather is upon us...
I am grateful that my beloved came into town after work just so he could meet me and we could walk home together...
I am grateful that my head is not as bad as yesterday, although it isn't good, so I am off to bed so hopefully it will go... Or I can at least count it as tomorrow's :-)
And I am grateful to all my beautiful friends and their beautiful, healing messages. Thank you! xx
With thanks… Saturday January 30…
Tonight I am grateful for a beautiful night with my beloved, climbing the mini-Tor in the park opposite our place to watch the sun set and the full moon rise. The sky was a pretty pinky-purpley-gold in the west, with orange light streaming through to illuminate the earth, although sadly the clouds, pretty though they were, covered the moon's rise. But it was beautiful up on the hill, and the moon later was gorgeous as it sailed across the black night sky...
I am grateful that I got some writing done, despite waking up with a migraine (such a shame - it was going so well!). But I am grateful that painkillers did dull the pain, even if I was vague, disconnected and nauseous all day...
I am grateful that my family and friends are more tolerant and open minded than so many others - we watched Transamerica, which was so sad...
And I am grateful for the beautiful, inspiring work of Hamish Miller, author, metal worker, creator and spiritual teacher, who passed away a few days ago, but will be so well remembered by all the people whose lives he touched...
With thanks… Sunday January 31…
Today I am grateful that I got some writing done, since the deadline is fast approaching :-)
I am grateful for planning and doing and making things happen...
I am grateful for a cute night in with my beloved, and we are grateful that House has returned - and that the season opener was one of the best television episodes we've ever seen...
And now I am grateful for bed - these tablets make me sleepy...
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